Pushing thru the 'crowds"

I want to talk about the woman in the bible that had an issue of blood for 12 years! (Mark 5:21-32) This means that this poor woman had a very irregular menstrual period that probably produced heavy bleeding. Because of this condition she probably was anemic which can make you very weak. She was under the care of many doctors that couldn't resolve this problem. She also came into financial distress because of this condition.  This woman lived during a time where there was no appropriate or sanitary way to relieve yourself from menstruating. We also have to put into consideration, the culture back then which, when a woman is bleeding she can not enter the temple for she was considered unclean. So along with the physical pain that she may have endured, she more than likely also endured the emotional shame that came along with it.

The scripture says that she PUSHED through the crowd and thought to herself  "If only I touch his cloak I will be healed." When she did touch Jesus's hem, she instantly felt power surge thru her body and she was healed right on the spot. In my opinion this poor woman must have been quite weak as the bleeding must have caused anemia. So I'm sure pushing thru the crowd wasn't easy for her as it would have been for some.

I want to focus on how she PUSHED her way thru the crowd. How many of us have been or are there now. We need a super natural miracle! What is your "crowd" that you need to push thru? I know mine, as I have many: Pride, shame,time,fear of man,anger,unforgiveness, to just name a few. I know that if I can just push thru this crowd of all this junk and touch the cloak of Jesus I will get my miracle. I am speaking of this metaphorically of course. But sometimes pushing thru the crowd can be quite a journey and hard work.

We all know that when we walk through a crowd of people, inevidently you will get touched by other people. So when Jesus walked through the crowd, He felt the surge of power leave his body, in which He said "who touched me?". Jesus noticed this poor, nameless woman out of the many in the crowd. When He looked at her He called her daughter. Not woman,or stranger, but DAUGHTER. He told her that her faith has healed her, to go in peace and be freed from her suffering.

I need a miracle in my life right now. I'm pushing thru my crowds, and persevering towards Jesus's cloak, I KNOW he will notice me above the crowd, He will call me "daughter". He will tell me to "go in peace your faith has healed you."

I'm writing this very personal blog because I think I'm not the only one that needed to hear this message.

Decorating your ditch

Well it has been six months since my last blog. It seems as though the events that have happened in the last six months are that of a lifetime.
My husband and I moved to Calgary a year ago. And it has been one hell of a year! We came with anticipation of starting a new business,and belonging to a new church. My children were starting new schools with new people, starting new friendships.
Without getting into too much detail, this past spring we lost our life savings, which was in a commercial building. This was devastating as all our work was lost in one moment. Let me correct myself, it was stolen from us. Derek and my world was rocked and shaken to the core. Everything we believed in was challenged and shaken. Why did God allow the "bad guys" to win? I prayed, warred, fasted,rebuked, prayed some more, and still we lost everything. I understand that this can pale in comparison in losing a loved one, but because our business wasn't even supporting us financially, panic started to set in.
Derek and I were at crossroads of choices. Lying in the ditch, or moving forward. Well lying in the ditch sounded very nice and comforting. I know I layed in my ditch for a little while, and this was the fruit of it: My husband and I were in strife and disunity, I was feeling sorry for myself which created a great environment for my husband and children, I started to allow bitterness to set in which resulted in my heart hardening. I even started to have thoughts which became my words... "F" it all! Why am I even a Christain? I had very negative thoughts going thru my brain. But let me tell you this.. the thought of being away from God for even one second grieved me more than what we were going thru.
So again here are my choices.. stay in my ditch, which I started to decorate and invite people in. Or TAKE UP MY MAT AND WALK!!! Standing still or lying down for too long creates stagnation, which creates mold, which STINKS!! I was starting to become stinky! I was wandering around my wilderness complaining, whining, which caused me to become depressed and hopeless. Good Old Joycey had a great quote "Complain and remain, or praise and be raised!"
Well the stinky, lost, depressed choices that I was making were going really well for me (Note the sarcasm) I said enough, and left the ditch. How did I do that? I needed some great council that didn't lie with me in the ditch, but rather pulled me out. Derek and I went to our pastor and she gave us some great insight, and advice that wasn't flowery or even pleasant to hear. Her words "Tammy you have issues, and you need to forgive and let go"! She refused the invitation to come into my ditch. Instead she reached in and grabbed me to pull me out. The pulling out may be unpleasant,painful, uncomfortable, but necessary. Similiar to giving birth. Labor and delivery HURTS!!!!!! But each time AFTER I gave birth;EVERY time I looked into my baby boys' eyes, I forgot about the pain, and I wanted to do it again! Four to be exact! We have to go thru labor and delivery in order to get our baby.
So where am I now? I am birthing my dreams, goals, and ideas. I'm getting back at writing my book, which I am renaming "Growing Hinds feet".  Based on Habakkuk 3:19 "The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights."  A Hinds is a female deer. God has designed this animal to have feet to stand on steep mountains, but not only stand, but actually walk UP the mountain!! I am not STANDING around in fear, or terror, but I am WALKING UP the mountain. And the ONLY way I can do this is thru God's grace that empowers me!!! I have experienced the POWER of forgiveness. John Bevere said "It is more important to be in unity than being right" This enables you to be more effective. I was holding onto the fact that I was RIGHT! This created so much disunity, and strife in my marriage.
Things aren't perfect (nor will they ever be) but Derek and I feel that this is the season that things are changing, God is bringing us up to higher and newer heights. The only way you can get to the top, is if you have come from the bottom! The harder my obstacle is, the stonger I will become by the time I reach the top!!!

I will keep you posted in how AWESOME God is, and how He has empowered me with His grace to keep going forward and UP!

GO!

I feel that I have all these desires and ideas.. but I don't have the energy or motivation to execute them. Why? I am really doing some self re evalutation. When Derek and I first were dating he asked me the question: "What are your goals, five year, and ten year?" I was stunned. Goals? well, I had a goal of wearing a certain outfit for that paticular evening, that is about how far I got with goals at that time in my life. I have since learned that when you set goals,and/or deadlines it keeps your focus on what you need to do to complete them.
I have set a goal to run a half marathon in May.. Have I really started to train? no. I am trying to look for my motivation.
2/3's of God's names mean GO! I believe that we have desires in our hearts for a reason. Not for them just to fester, and then when we still haven't accomplished them we feel guilty, anxious, and depressed. I believe that people are filled with gifts and talents. But when we don't plant these gifts and talents, we will never recieve or see the harvest.
I am reading this great book "Forces that form your future" by Kevin Gerald. In this book he talks about how some archeologists found seeds in Egypt that were about 2000 years old. They planted these seeds, and indeed there was a harvest. No matter how long a seed has been in your heart, whenever we decided to plant it, it will reap a harvest. It is never too late to start planting seeds.. good seeds.

I'm wanting a harvest of good friends,prosperity,health,healthy habits,close relationship with God, my husband, and my children. So I am very concious of what kind of seeds that I am planting. I am not perfect and I have to ask for forgivness from God, and my family often. But at least I'm stepping forward. I'd rather do life making mistakes, then waiting for life to come to me.. Your future doesn't happen to you... it comes THRU you...
I want to sit on my porch in my rocking chair when I am 120 years old and look back on my life and say I LIVED.. I took risks,I succeeded my goals, I made mistakes,asked for forgivness, I fell, but got up again. Bottom line...I didn't quit! and I had FUN! I want to say that I truly lived my life to the fullest!